EXECUTIVE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT
November 17, 1973
COUNTER TO THE CHINESE THREAT
FROM: Henry Kissinger, US National Security Advisor
CC: Fred Turner, Chairman of McDonald's Corporation
SUBJECT: Foreign Policy, Commerce
- It is thought to be in the interest of the West to find some means to counter the threat of the collective weight of the people of China
- Should the people of China by common effort endeavor to jump at the same time the planet's orbit will be disrupted.
- If this should happen, the planet might spiral outwards in the solar system and possibly collide with the moon.
- To prevent this, a fattening of the general populace of the West is suggested.
- This populace, though less numerous, would act as a counterweight to that of China in the event of an orchestrated jump.
- This policy utilizes the uneven distribution of food and has the added benefit of aiding US commercial interests abroad.
- The fast food chain McDonald's newly opened European branch has been marshalled to this effort.
(Source: none. This is an imaginary memo.)