Friday, 11 November 2011
Another Song for the Exhausted
My Fridays are always harrowing. If you were to say; "Look at that fellow, Sir Bunbury, he is a nervous wreck" you wouldn't be far off. Giving lectures for hours on end can really take it out of a poor blighter. In these situations, T Rex' We Love to Boogie and particularly this youtube rendition is like ointment to the wearly limb.
Saturday, 5 November 2011
Naked Woman in Dead Horse: Played Star Wars
This "man bites dog"-type story is too amazing not to post here. Words can hardy suffice, but The Seattle Weekly has tried.
Jasha Lottin, Portland Nudist, Broke No Laws by Killing, Gutting Horse, then Posing Naked Inside Carcass
Jasha Lottin says she can't understand why people are so interested in why she bought a horse, killed it, gutted it, then posed naked for photos inside the carcass and posted them on the Internet.
Lottin, a 21-year-old and nudist from Portland was questioned at length by Washington County Sheriff's Deputies recently after she posted on the Internet gory photos of herself naked inside a horse that she bought, shot, gutted, posed naked inside of, and ultimately ate.
Joshua Washburn, a North Carolina man, had come across the pics online at the website 4chan and reported them to deputies.
Those sheriff's deputies recently concluded that no animal abuse had been committed and therefore no laws had been broken.
Regardless, since Lottin wanted to publish the photos herself anyway, here they are uncensored as provided by the WCSO.
We'd recommend people not look at them while eating.
According to a police report Lottin and her friend John Frost had purchased a 32-year-old dying horse in Richfield, Wash. Shortly after buying the animal Frost shot it in the head with a .300 Winchester Magnum hunting rifle (the horse had apparently been scheduled to be euthanized already), then the two skinned and gutted it before finally beginning their photo shoot.
The reason for climbing inside the animal was later explained to deputies as Lottin's desire to "be one with the animal."
That and her love of Star Wars.
From the police report:
"We've definitely never seen anything like that," Thompson says. "People do bad stuff to people and animals, but in this case it appears that animal was put down humanely, so there's really nothing to compare it to. It's just bizarre."
After posting the photos online, angry readers at 4chan apparently started harassing Lottin and Frost to the point where they pulled their Facebook profiles offline.
Reached by phone yesterday Lottin refused to comment other than saying she doesn't understand what all the fuss is about and that the reason she did what she did was "just spontaneous."
Source
"
Jasha Lottin, Portland Nudist, Broke No Laws by Killing, Gutting Horse, then Posing Naked Inside Carcass
Jasha Lottin says she can't understand why people are so interested in why she bought a horse, killed it, gutted it, then posed naked for photos inside the carcass and posted them on the Internet.
Lottin, a 21-year-old and nudist from Portland was questioned at length by Washington County Sheriff's Deputies recently after she posted on the Internet gory photos of herself naked inside a horse that she bought, shot, gutted, posed naked inside of, and ultimately ate.
Joshua Washburn, a North Carolina man, had come across the pics online at the website 4chan and reported them to deputies.
Those sheriff's deputies recently concluded that no animal abuse had been committed and therefore no laws had been broken.
Regardless, since Lottin wanted to publish the photos herself anyway, here they are uncensored as provided by the WCSO.
We'd recommend people not look at them while eating.
Via Washington County Sheriff's Office
The reason for climbing inside the animal was later explained to deputies as Lottin's desire to "be one with the animal."
That and her love of Star Wars.
From the police report:
Lottin said in the movie Star Wars the character Han Solo cut open and animal with his light saber and placed Luke Skywalker inside the animal. This was due to Luke freezing to death in cold weather. Lottin said there was nothing religious about what she did and didn't intend to offend anyone.Washington County Sheriff's Office Sgt. David Thompson tells Seattle Weekly that while the case is "truly bizarre", deputies aren't interested in telling people what weird stuff to put or not put on the Internet.
"We've definitely never seen anything like that," Thompson says. "People do bad stuff to people and animals, but in this case it appears that animal was put down humanely, so there's really nothing to compare it to. It's just bizarre."
After posting the photos online, angry readers at 4chan apparently started harassing Lottin and Frost to the point where they pulled their Facebook profiles offline.
Reached by phone yesterday Lottin refused to comment other than saying she doesn't understand what all the fuss is about and that the reason she did what she did was "just spontaneous."
"
What do you think?
Is this perverted, horrid, deviant, original or just plain colourful? This is one of those stories you could not make up if you tried. It is stranger than fiction. In that light, do you know any equally absurd news stories? If so, feel free to post them or links to them in the comment field below!
Comments on The Tale of Sir Bob are always welcome!
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
"You may rrree-moof your gloves!" - Roald Dahl's "The Witches"
On a recent visit to Cambridge, I found a marvel in a local antiquarian booksellers'. I have always been very fond of Roald Dahl's books and almost had a seizure when I found the American first edition of Roald Dahl's The Witches. With shaky hands I opened the front cover and had to go for a breath of fresh air. This was what greeted me:
The tale revolves around a seven year old boy who, when visiting a seaside hotel which happens to host a witches convention at the same time, discovers a sinister plot to get rid of all children. Wiches look like ordinary women but they wear wigs and gloves to cover their bald heads and claws, hence the quote in the title, and they have no toes. Most importantly, they hate children. Filled with Dahls customary gruesome thrills, the novel is a marvel and it even has the ominous number 86 thrown in everywhere for superstitious nuts.
Whether I am one of them, I could not say. Suffice to tell, I dearly wanted that book, gloriously sporting the signatures of both author and illustrator as it was. However, the price tag was a bit on the steep side and the lady behind the her messy desk would not budge. In fact, budging did not seem to be very high up on the list of popular pastimes for this portly proprietor. As she wanted a whooping £300 for the book, I had to go for another stoll.
They say walking is good for you. Good exercise and beneficial to the heart just about sums it up. Under the circs, I was inclined to applaud the notion as my heart was about to make a formidable leap. I checked the ilab web pages where I discovered a British first edition, signed by Dahl but not by Blake to the exhilarating sum of £1250!
I am not much of a mathematician, but I fear my strained, squeaky voice gave my conclusions away as I feebly tried to negotiate the price. It was, of course, to no avail. However, the woman's sedentary business style had surprisingly ceased to trouble me and it was with a song on my lips I parted with the stated.
Having been on display at my abode for a month now, I will have to turn my attention to redecorating the old den to accomodate its entry into my shelves. I might even take Roald Dahl's advice, sung by the Oompa-Loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory upon the fate of Mike Teavee...
 |
| Signed by Roald Dahl (author) and Quentin Blake (illustrator) |
The tale revolves around a seven year old boy who, when visiting a seaside hotel which happens to host a witches convention at the same time, discovers a sinister plot to get rid of all children. Wiches look like ordinary women but they wear wigs and gloves to cover their bald heads and claws, hence the quote in the title, and they have no toes. Most importantly, they hate children. Filled with Dahls customary gruesome thrills, the novel is a marvel and it even has the ominous number 86 thrown in everywhere for superstitious nuts.
Whether I am one of them, I could not say. Suffice to tell, I dearly wanted that book, gloriously sporting the signatures of both author and illustrator as it was. However, the price tag was a bit on the steep side and the lady behind the her messy desk would not budge. In fact, budging did not seem to be very high up on the list of popular pastimes for this portly proprietor. As she wanted a whooping £300 for the book, I had to go for another stoll.
 |
| Detail from the front cover |
They say walking is good for you. Good exercise and beneficial to the heart just about sums it up. Under the circs, I was inclined to applaud the notion as my heart was about to make a formidable leap. I checked the ilab web pages where I discovered a British first edition, signed by Dahl but not by Blake to the exhilarating sum of £1250!
I am not much of a mathematician, but I fear my strained, squeaky voice gave my conclusions away as I feebly tried to negotiate the price. It was, of course, to no avail. However, the woman's sedentary business style had surprisingly ceased to trouble me and it was with a song on my lips I parted with the stated.
 |
| Dahl drawn by Blake |
Having been on display at my abode for a month now, I will have to turn my attention to redecorating the old den to accomodate its entry into my shelves. I might even take Roald Dahl's advice, sung by the Oompa-Loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory upon the fate of Mike Teavee...
"
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray
go throw your TV set away,
and in its place you can install
a lovely bookcase on the wall
"
Sources: Dahl, Roald: The Witches, New York 1983, Dahl, Roald: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl by Blake
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
A More Sensible Approach to Journalism?
On Monday, the Guardian presented their new angle on journalism. Every day, they will publish a newslist including upcoming articles, events and speeches and the twitter page of the journalist in charge of that particular element.
The new system is an experiment meant to last for a fortnight but which might become a permanent fixture. The idea is not only to provide insight into the inner life of the newspaper but also to preempt complains after publication. Readers will be able to tell the journalist about what to include or not include and even point out stories the newspaper might want to cover. This system is based on the paper's earlier, positive experiences with twitter.
Of course, not all stories will figure in the list. Some, which the paper might want to keep exclusive or which need to be kept unpublished due to source concerns, will be kept from the list. The national news editor of the Guardian, Dan Roberts, said that the risk of news leakage to competitors would be far outweighed by the benefits of reader opinion.
The scheme is known to have worked well in newspapers such as The Atlantic Wire and the Swedish Norran. Hopefully, this makes for the open, more transparent form of journalism needed after the News of the World debacle.
To visit the Guardian's newslist, click here.
Sources: The Guardian Online, last visited 12.10.2011, Pic.
The new system is an experiment meant to last for a fortnight but which might become a permanent fixture. The idea is not only to provide insight into the inner life of the newspaper but also to preempt complains after publication. Readers will be able to tell the journalist about what to include or not include and even point out stories the newspaper might want to cover. This system is based on the paper's earlier, positive experiences with twitter.
 |
| The Newslist |
Of course, not all stories will figure in the list. Some, which the paper might want to keep exclusive or which need to be kept unpublished due to source concerns, will be kept from the list. The national news editor of the Guardian, Dan Roberts, said that the risk of news leakage to competitors would be far outweighed by the benefits of reader opinion.
The scheme is known to have worked well in newspapers such as The Atlantic Wire and the Swedish Norran. Hopefully, this makes for the open, more transparent form of journalism needed after the News of the World debacle.
To visit the Guardian's newslist, click here.
Sources: The Guardian Online, last visited 12.10.2011, Pic.
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Get Back to Work! - Get all the mindless youtube surfing done in 20 minutes
You have more important and pressing things to do, you just need a short break. However, as soon as you start watching videos on youtube you end up moving to the next video over and over again. Suddenly, you've lost hours.
This post will take you through the most famous viral videos of all time saving you time and bother.
Have a look at these:
Psycho Girl Can't Sing, 10,124,744 views
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!, 40,986,188 views
Numa Numa, 43,491,538 views
Charlie The Unicorn, 60,024,126 views
Chocolate Rain, 72,306,793 views
David After Dentist, 100,174,287 views
Sneezing Baby Panda, 118,257,336 views
Charlie Bit My Finger - Again, 376,293,596
Now get back to work. There's nothing more for you out there just now.
This post will take you through the most famous viral videos of all time saving you time and bother.
Have a look at these:
Psycho Girl Can't Sing, 10,124,744 views
Star Wars Kid, 23,486,877 views
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!, 40,986,188 views
Numa Numa, 43,491,538 views
Charlie The Unicorn, 60,024,126 views
Chocolate Rain, 72,306,793 views
David After Dentist, 100,174,287 views
Sneezing Baby Panda, 118,257,336 views
Charlie Bit My Finger - Again, 376,293,596
Now get back to work. There's nothing more for you out there just now.
Sunday, 9 October 2011
"Calcium Made Interesting" by Graham Chapman
This is an essay written by the late Dr. Graham Chapman of Monty Python. It is superb for teaching both chemistry and English.
Calcium, an alkaline belonging to the group 2A of the periodic table, has large breasts. Its metallic form is readily oxidized and releases hydrogen from water. It occurs naturally as the carbonate CaCO3 in limestone, chalk, marble, and in brothels. This element makes up 3.4 percent of the earth’s crust and has wild parties 3.4 times a week round at its place. When Calcium Carbonate gets a bit heated it gives off CO2, and when it drinks claret it gets so sloshed it forms Calcium Hydroxide a.k.a. Ca(OH)2. The reaction of CaO and H2O to form Ca(OH)2 (a process which is called slaking, by the way) is very naughty indeed and can only be compared to sexual intercourse! At the climax of the reaction a white precipitate called Calcium Hydroxide appears and stains the sheets.
Calcium also occurs as the phosphate in Apatite and forms a large part of many silicate minerals which, if you’re really stoned, is a great scene to get zonked on, man. How about CaSO4 and 2H2O as a mantra? Or more simply just repeat “Gypsum” to yourself. But take care because on a bad trip, if things get a bit hot, it turns to Plaster of Paris (Where there are many prostitutes and a great gay scene—see ‘Ferrous Sulphate’). If Apatite, when finely ground and taken from between the thighs of a young school girl with blue knickers and white socks, is treated with Sulphuric Acid it produces super-phosphates which are used as fertilizers, if that’s anybody’s bag.
To sum up, Calcium is an aphrodisiac. In fact, just reading about it gives you both an orgasm and a high that you’ll really phone home about! Try this excerpt on for size:
"
Calcium Made Interesting
Calcium, an alkaline belonging to the group 2A of the periodic table, has large breasts. Its metallic form is readily oxidized and releases hydrogen from water. It occurs naturally as the carbonate CaCO3 in limestone, chalk, marble, and in brothels. This element makes up 3.4 percent of the earth’s crust and has wild parties 3.4 times a week round at its place. When Calcium Carbonate gets a bit heated it gives off CO2, and when it drinks claret it gets so sloshed it forms Calcium Hydroxide a.k.a. Ca(OH)2. The reaction of CaO and H2O to form Ca(OH)2 (a process which is called slaking, by the way) is very naughty indeed and can only be compared to sexual intercourse! At the climax of the reaction a white precipitate called Calcium Hydroxide appears and stains the sheets.
Calcium also occurs as the phosphate in Apatite and forms a large part of many silicate minerals which, if you’re really stoned, is a great scene to get zonked on, man. How about CaSO4 and 2H2O as a mantra? Or more simply just repeat “Gypsum” to yourself. But take care because on a bad trip, if things get a bit hot, it turns to Plaster of Paris (Where there are many prostitutes and a great gay scene—see ‘Ferrous Sulphate’). If Apatite, when finely ground and taken from between the thighs of a young school girl with blue knickers and white socks, is treated with Sulphuric Acid it produces super-phosphates which are used as fertilizers, if that’s anybody’s bag.
To sum up, Calcium is an aphrodisiac. In fact, just reading about it gives you both an orgasm and a high that you’ll really phone home about! Try this excerpt on for size:
Meeting the hard calcareous rock he thought how Calcium is involved in almost every biological function. As his hand came ever closer, up until it reached that place… Oh, the relief… Oh! The ecstasy… He reflected upon how this amazing mineral provides the electrical energy for the heart to beat and for all his muscle movement. Slowly, as his hand fell to his zip and he eased his fingers, slowly inserting them into his flies and, groping, he pondered upon how Calcium is responsible for feeding every cell. To his surprise he was not embarrassed as he…and then he…Wow! But if you want a real buzz, then get into other Calcium compounds like Calcium Carbide (CaC2) which is produced when it is heated with ‘coke.’ It’s something else, man, way out! It will not only stimulate your erogenous zones but increase your vital statistics. (If you’re interested it can be delivered to your home in a plain brown wrapper. Details in the next chapter.)
"
Sources: Chapman, Graham; Calcium Made Interesting, Pic1, Pic2
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Mad Hatter Day
Today is Mad Hatter Day, a 25 year old holiday where we celebrate silliness. We see the madness in what is considered sane and the sanity in what is considered madness.
The day is named after Lewis Carroll's Mad Hatter, a character appearing in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-glass. Thoroughtly nonsensical, he is stuck in an endless tea party with a dormouse and the March Hare. The date was chosen as a result of John Tenniel's drawings of the Hatter where he has a note with the notation "in this style 10/6" stuck in his hat.
So, what to do?
How about taking a small box out of your pocket and then talk to your mother without making a sound, pressing a number of buttons with numbers on them and then send?
Or how about dressing up to look less like yourself in order to attract a mate?
Why don't you go to the store and buy a piece of meat you do not know where came from? Perhaps it came from the hind leg of a sheep called Alan on the brink of inventing a cure for itchy wool? Or perhaps it is your neighbours rump. You sleep 20 cm from his head but haven't seen or spoken to him for ages.
Or, find inspiration in Ari Rapkin of the Carnegie Mellon School of Computer Science's view of the fundamental madness of the world:
The day is named after Lewis Carroll's Mad Hatter, a character appearing in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-glass. Thoroughtly nonsensical, he is stuck in an endless tea party with a dormouse and the March Hare. The date was chosen as a result of John Tenniel's drawings of the Hatter where he has a note with the notation "in this style 10/6" stuck in his hat.
 |
| Alice, the March Hare, the Dormouse and the Hatter wrapping some tea in a pot |
How about taking a small box out of your pocket and then talk to your mother without making a sound, pressing a number of buttons with numbers on them and then send?
Or how about dressing up to look less like yourself in order to attract a mate?
Why don't you go to the store and buy a piece of meat you do not know where came from? Perhaps it came from the hind leg of a sheep called Alan on the brink of inventing a cure for itchy wool? Or perhaps it is your neighbours rump. You sleep 20 cm from his head but haven't seen or spoken to him for ages.
Or, find inspiration in Ari Rapkin of the Carnegie Mellon School of Computer Science's view of the fundamental madness of the world:
"
We travel around by taking the juice from hundred-million-year-old rotten dinosaur food and exploding it in a metal can.
A "sports fanatic" is not someone who participates in sports, but someone who sits indoors on a beautiful day, drinking beer while yelling at the picture on a little box. (Throw the ultimate football party: Forget the TV; just sit around eating and drinking with friends.)
As much as we say we like to "get away from it all", the more successful we are, the more we take it all with us when we go. (Take a vacation with all the comforts of home: Just stay home!)
We're so well-fed that we're getting food with intentionally reduced nutritional content--so we can take the trouble to eat without getting the benefit of doing so. (Enjoy the ultimate in fast-diet-food: Skip lunch.)
We've saved so much gift-giving for the Christmas season that it has entirely unbalanced the flow of cash and consu mer goods through the year. So merchants decided to start the season early to have something to do the rest of the year. (There's now only one major gift-giving holiday -- but it lasts for five months. Surprise someone with a MadHatterDay present.)
"
And, after all, why is a raven like a writing desk?
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