Naked Woman in Dead Horse: Played Star Wars

This "man bites dog"-type story is too amazing not to post here. Words can hardy suffice, but The Seattle Weekly has tried.

"

Jasha Lottin, Portland Nudist, Broke No Laws by Killing, Gutting Horse, then Posing Naked Inside Carcass

Jasha Lottin says she can't understand why people are so interested in why she bought a horse, killed it, gutted it, then posed naked for photos inside the carcass and posted them on the Internet.

Lottin, a 21-year-old and nudist from Portland was questioned at length by Washington County Sheriff's Deputies recently after she posted on the Internet gory photos of herself naked inside a horse that she bought, shot, gutted, posed naked inside of, and ultimately ate.

Joshua Washburn, a North Carolina man, had come across the pics online at the website 4chan and reported them to deputies.

Those sheriff's deputies recently concluded that no animal abuse had been committed and therefore no laws had been broken.

Regardless, since Lottin wanted to publish the photos herself anyway, here they are uncensored as provided by the WCSO.

We'd recommend people not look at them while eating.

Via Washington County Sheriff's Office

According to a police report Lottin and her friend John Frost had purchased a 32-year-old dying horse in Richfield, Wash. Shortly after buying the animal Frost shot it in the head with a .300 Winchester Magnum hunting rifle (the horse had apparently been scheduled to be euthanized already), then the two skinned and gutted it before finally beginning their photo shoot.

 The reason for climbing inside the animal was later explained to deputies as Lottin's desire to "be one with the animal."

That and her love of Star Wars.

From the police report:

Lottin said in the movie Star Wars the character Han Solo cut open and animal with his light saber and placed Luke Skywalker inside the animal. This was due to Luke freezing to death in cold weather. Lottin said there was nothing religious about what she did and didn't intend to offend anyone.

Washington County Sheriff's Office Sgt. David Thompson tells Seattle Weekly that while the case is "truly bizarre", deputies aren't interested in telling people what weird stuff to put or not put on the Internet.

"We've definitely never seen anything like that," Thompson says. "People do bad stuff to people and animals, but in this case it appears that animal was put down humanely, so there's really nothing to compare it to. It's just bizarre."

After posting the photos online, angry readers at 4chan apparently started harassing Lottin and Frost to the point where they pulled their Facebook profiles offline.

Reached by phone yesterday Lottin refused to comment other than saying she doesn't understand what all the fuss is about and that the reason she did what she did was "just spontaneous."

"

What do you think?

Is this perverted, horrid, deviant, original or just plain colourful? This is one of those stories you could not make up if you tried. It is stranger than fiction. In that light, do you know any equally absurd news stories? If so, feel free to post them or links to them in the comment field below!

Comments on The Tale of Sir Bob are always welcome!

Source

Representations of Native Americans

While studying for a task on the Disney adaptation of J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan I came across an interesting and captivating source on the representation of Native Americans in American images. Kevin Gover, Director of The Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian gives his talk on false, perpetuated images of the Native American called "Will the White Man's Indian Ever Die?" and points out how "memorable, powerful and hard to shake"* these are. Enjoy this entertaining, interesting and surprisingly hard to come by lecture!

*Source: Lect. (09:30)

Four Chords from Seven Years Ago and a Difficult Word

Following the blog posts on the life of a riff, this seems like a natural sequel. The badly named Axis of Awesome, Australia's most tolerated musical comedy trio, has pointed out what most musicians have noticed but not entirely thought through. A lot of pop music consist, at least in central segments, of a sequence of just four chords; D, A, Hm and G or a transposed version of these.

Although the trio might not be awesome in the original sense (as explained by Eddie Izzard - see above), they deserve credit for clearly and efficiently stating the point and compiling such a long list of songs, not to mention how they spread hope to lonely, unattractive but clever bachelors with a worn out instrument.

Here is their four chord song:

They could have done worse, wouldn't you say?

Source: 1

A Wikileaks Memo You Missed

EXECUTIVE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT

November 17, 1973

COUNTER TO THE CHINESE THREAT

FROM: Henry Kissinger, US National Security Advisor

CC: Fred Turner, Chairman of McDonald's Corporation

SUBJECT: Foreign Policy, Commerce

• It is thought to be in the interest of the West to find some means to counter the threat of the collective weight of the people of China
• Should the people of China by common effort endeavor to jump at the same time the planet's orbit will be disrupted.
• If this should happen, the planet might spiral outwards in the solar system and possibly collide with the moon.
• To prevent this, a fattening of the general populace of the West is suggested.
• This populace, though less numerous, would act as a counterweight to that of China in the event of an orchestrated jump.
• This policy utilizes the uneven distribution of food and has the added benefit of aiding US commercial interests abroad.
• The fast food chain McDonald's newly opened European branch has been marshalled to this effort.

-1-

(Source: none. This is an imaginary memo.)

Government Reports in Layman's Terms

(23 December 1991, Florida) This account of an aircraft accident is quoted directly from the National Transportation Safety Board report, with my translations added in [closed brackets] for clarity.


Aircraft: PIPER PA-34-200T, Registration: N47506

Injuries: 2 Fatal.

The private pilot and a pilot rated passenger [that's two pilots] were going to practice simulated instrument flight. Witnesses observed the airplane's right wing fail in a dive and crash. Examination of the wreckage and bodies revealed that both occupants were partially clothed and the front right seat was in the full aft reclining position. [the pilots had turned the co-pilot's seat into a makeshift bed] Neither body showed evidence of seatbelts or shoulder harnesses being worn. [they were lying on the "bed"] Examination of the individuals' clothing revealed no evidence of ripping or distress to the zippers and belts. [the clothes seemed to have been removed voluntarily]

The National Transportation Safety Board determines the probable cause(s) of this accident as follows:

The pilot in command's improper in-flight decision to divert her attention to other activities not related to the conduct of the flight. [the pilots were distracting each other, so there were no one to fly the plane] Contributing to the accident was the exceeding of the design limits of the airplane leading to a wing failure. [as there were no one to fly the plane, it didn't]

As they said in "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"; "that was seen as a nice way to go"

News for Rabbits

In 1979, four years after Monty Python's infamous dreaded "Killer Rabbit of Caerbannoch", President Jimmy Carter was fishing in Plains, Georgia. He then had a brush with wildlife:

Click for larger image

It is not known whether the rabbit was a Russian assassin in scuba and lepal disguise. However, rabbits are known to cause some damage if cornered. For those who doubted the veracity of the species, this image was supplied:

Here, the malicious rodent can be seen fleeing in wild-eyed disarray after its aquatic assault on the American Primus Inter Pares had been foiled by the latters fervent paddle-bashing.

In other news for rabbits, this time of a newer date:

In 2007, North Korean dictator Kim Il Sung promised his people a giant bunny in every pot. Embassy employees in Germany approached Karl Szmolinsky, famed giant rabbit-breeder, requesting his service for "feeding the population". He sold them four female and two male German grey giants and later visited them so see how the project was coming along.

The proud breeder flaunts his prime product.

The North Korean people is living mainly on foreign aid, due to Kim Il Sung's misguided policies which, in the 90's, lead to widespread famine and 2 million dead.

The rabbits are so large, they find it hard to hop and they have to be fed like pigs to get this big which begs the question; why not breed pigs instead?

Only the binge-drinking, Elvis-loving dictator knows.

Sources: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/international/item_MYiR9TQoubljVYJlsBsmLM;jsessionid=6F46F25BCCB20CD7C0A062929B411B34,

http://cayankee.blogs.com/cayankee/2007/02/jimmy_carters_n.html,

http://schema-root.org/technology/agriculture/livestock/rabbits/breeds/german_grey/german_grey_rabbit.jpg,

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2202&dat=19790830&id=vlsyAAAAIBAJ&sjid=B-gFAAAAIBAJ&pg=6689,5285665, last visited 15.2.2010

Whatever happened to Dustolv?

The Norwegian public has a constant thirst for idiots. This is because idiots make it smart, successful and sophisticated by comparison. By reading about people doing stupid things and getting themselves into complicated situations we can not only enjoy seeing them reap what they sow and revel in the unlikelihood of the same happening to us, but we can also huff at their receiving attention. However, the joy of learning about idiots offing themselves is a genuine biological feeling.

Everyone has some degree of concern for the future of human kind. Seeing how a member of the more shallow end of the gene pool has misspelled his own name in graffiti, discussing some matter with a concerned friend of a friend composed of unrighteous wrath and enlightenment in unequal measure or seeing the snotty and obnoxious neighbour kids really makes you appreciate the wonder of contraception.

This is not an expression of social Darwinism. As with any controversial issue; race, sexual orientation, gender, class, I hate everyone irrespective of any physical or personal qualities. It is a natural, biological reaction from when we were all wearing revealing loincloths laughing at Bob Zog falling into the animal pit or being trampled to a wafer thin slice of meaty pancake by a mammoth or feeling the frustration of Bob Zag falling out of the tree spoiling the carefully planned ambush. This is also why we found Dustolv entertaining.

Dustolv went to Africa, worked as an obscure mercenary and shot a Congolese driver in an area full of government soldiers, was duly imprisoned and had his complimentary sub tropic disease. There were calls from the dungeon and the more nationalistic, right wing, tractor-pulling, trailer-inhabiting Norwegians for the intervention of the Norwegian Foreign Office but these were politely slapped down by Sir Bob Gard-Støre. And then, just as we were waiting to hear of Dustolv’s death sentence being converted to life imprisonment, nothing. A new year came… nothing. What happened was that it became cold in December and Norwegian media were somehow surprised. To be fair, one might say that the Norwegian Minister of Fishing and major fish farm tycooness stole some of his limelight by being extraordinary blockheaded, but still; nothing. I hate to sound saucy, but it seems Dustolv was milked dry by the Norwegian media and left to rot.

This also goes to show that the attention span and consistency of the Norwegian public and their opinion are disappointingly short. We are not really concerned with the fate of idiots although we would like to think so. What we really want is five minutes of snorting resentment at the breakfast table, as the great Sir Bob Fry said, whether it is aimed at wounded national pride as in the Dustolv case or the impertinence of fellow Norwegians such as Jarle Traa, who injured himself in a ridiculous manner in the Himalayas and expected to be saved by the state. For this purpose there are no more fitting groups than the idiots.

Idiots will also be the subject of a later post, where I will introduce and present my favourite Darwin Award winners.