How Not to Annoy - The World Citizens Guide for Americans

The war-time line "overpaid, oversexed and over here", used to describe Americans in Europe has in later years been rewritten to "overweight, oversexed and overthrow whomever". Admittedly, Americans struggle with some public image issues beyond their heartland even to the extent that they are the object of their own phobia, amerophobia or columbophobia. Amerophobes shudder at American overestimation of their powers of comparison through the word "like", their inability to pronounce t-sounds inside words, their volume and their initial ignorance, subsequent ceaseless fascination and merciless appropriation of anything Non-American. However, the fear is more of this stereotype than of the Americans themselves, who often put this stereotype to shame by being sociable, polite and altruistic.

However, in 2014, 8,8% of all Americans took an overseas trip, according to numbers from the Office of Travel and Tourism Industries and the US Census Bureau, a number relatively similar to those of previous years. The cultural challenges facing these Americans abroad prompted "Business for Diplomatic Action", an American organisation worried about the declining standing of Americans abroad, to commission the compilation of the "World Citizens Guide". This guide provides the American tourist with the necessary knowledge to not get on the nerves of the natives of their country of choice.

Here is a collection of pearls from the guide:

"

Look. Listen. Learn.
Don't just shop. See the sights, hear the sounds and try to understand the lives people live.

Think big. Act small. Be humble.
It's easy to resent big, powerful people. Assume resentment as a default and play down your wealth, power and status.

Live, eat and play local.
Once you get to know other Americans, don't start ignoring locals you knew before.

Refrain from lecturing.
Nobody likes a know-it-all, and nobody likes a whole nation of them. Rightly or wrongly, the I.S. is seen as appointing itself as policeman, judge and jury to the world. Be aware of this perception and try to understand other viewpoints.

Dialogue instead of monologue.
[...] ask people you're visiting how what you've said compares to what they do and how they live in their country.

Be proud, not arrogant.
People around the world are fascinated by the U.S. and the lives we Americans live. They admire our openness, our optimism, our creativity and our "can-do" spirit. Be proud of being an American, but resist any temptation to present our way as the best way or the only way.

Keep religion private.
Some may have no knowledge of the Bible, nor is it appropriate to tell them about it unless you are a professional missionary identified as such.

Be quiet.
In conversation match your voice level to the environment and other speakers. Casual profanity is almost always considered unacceptable.

Check the atlas.
Everyone's home is important to them.

Agree to disagree respectfully.
Surely, there are people who object to actions or activities of our government, our industries and our culture.

Talk about something besides politics.
Listen first. Then speak. And leave politics alone if you can. Speak of culture, art, food or family if you need another topic.

Show your best side.
Americans are a kind and generous people. You can help dispel the stereotype of the Ugly American; impress people with your kindness, curiosity and fair nature.

"

Sources: Adapted from [1], otherwise as indicated, 

Watson and Other Excitable Characters - Ejaculations in the Sherlock Holmes Canon

Hopefully, this heading did not make you ejaculate with shock! Recently, I watched the first episode of the QI J-season, and after a particularly entertaining passage on language and literature, I ejaculated with joy. However, I did so not in the most common modern sense of the word, but in the late 18th century sense. The e comes from latin out (of) while iaculor is to throw or hurl (like a javelin), so while re-ject means to throw/send something back and e-ject means to throw/send something out, an ejaculation used to be just any kind of outburst.

In this particular QI episode, the use of the word in the Sherlock Holmes canon was the object of much mirth. There are 23 ejaculations in the canon, all of which presumably intended to be verbal, but like imagining Frodo and Sam as lovers in The Lord of the Rings, once you've thought it you can't un-think it and you're scarred for life:

This is just a few, though, and so you might ask, "Surely, this must be something for someone with a blog on literature! Why not the lot?" And you did, to which I reply, "Enjoy!"

"

You must have observed the way in which he held his head and swung his cane. A steady, respectable, middle-aged man, too, on the face of him—all facts which led me to believe that he had been a sergeant.”
“Wonderful!” I ejaculated.
“Commonplace,” said Holmes

---

Simple as it was, there were several most instructive points about it.”
“Simple!” I ejaculated.
“Well, really, it can hardly be described as otherwise,” said Sherlock Holmes, smiling at my surprise.

---

“NOW, WATSON,” said Holmes, rubbing his hands, “we have half an hour to ourselves. Let us make good use of it. My case is, as I have told you, almost complete; but we must not err on the side of over-confidence. Simple as the case seems now, there may be something deeper underlying it.”
“Simple!” I ejaculated.

---

(Watson, in response to his soon-to-be fiancée)

It was selfish, no doubt, disloyal, wrong, but I could realize nothing save that the golden barrier was gone from between us.
“Thank God!” I ejaculated from my very heart.
She looked at me with a quick, questioning smile.

- A Study in Scarlet -

“What on earth does this mean?” I ejaculated after I had twice read over the extraordinary announcement.
Holmes chuckled and wriggled in his chair, as was his habit when in high spirits. 

- The Red-Headed League -

This observation of his had the natural effect of removing any traces of doubt which might have remained in the minds of the coroner's jury.”
“It was a confession,” I ejaculated 

- The Boscombe Valley Mystery -

While she was walking in this way down Swandam Lane, she suddenly heard an ejaculation or cry, and was struck cold to see her husband looking down at her and, as it seemed to her, beckoning to her from a second-floor window. The window was open, and she distinctly saw his face, which she describes as being terribly agitated. He waved his hands frantically to her, and then vanished from the window so suddenly that it seemed to her that he had been plucked back by some irresistible force from behind.

--- 

With these he constructed a sort of Eastern divan, upon which he perched himself cross-legged, with an ounce of shag tobacco and a box of matches laid out in front of him. In the dim light of the lamp I saw him sitting there, an old briar pipe between his lips, his eyes fixed vacantly upon the corner of the ceiling, the blue smoke curling up from him, silent, motionless, with the light shining upon his strong-set aquiline features. So he sat as I dropped off to sleep, and so he sat when a sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up, and I found the summer sun shining into the apartment. The pipe was still between his lips, the smoke still curled upward, and the room was full of a dense tobacco haze, but nothing remained of the heap of shag which I had seen upon the previous night.
“Awake, Watson?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Game for a morning drive?”
“Certainly.”
“Then dress. No one is stirring yet, but I know where the stable-boy sleeps

- The Man with the Twisted Lip -

 Sherlock Holmes sat up with a whistle. “By Jove, Peterson!” said he, “this is treasure trove indeed. I suppose you know what you have got?”
“A diamond, sir? A precious stone. It cuts into glass as though it were putty.”
“It's more than a precious stone. It is the precious stone.”
“Not the Countess of Morcar's blue carbuncle!” I ejaculated.

- The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle -

The ejaculation had been drawn from my companion by the fact that our door had been suddenly dashed open, and that a huge man had framed himself in the aperture. His costume was a peculiar mixture of the professional and of the agricultural, having a black top-hat, a long frock-coat, and a pair of high gaiters, with a hunting-crop swinging in his hand. 

- The Adventure of the Specled Band -

“What on earth has that to do with it?” I ejaculated.

- The Adventure of the Copper Beeches -

“The young imp cannot be found,” said Dr. Trevelyan; “the maid and the cook have just been searching for him.”
Holmes shrugged his shoulders.
“He has played a not unimportant part in this drama,” said he. “The three men having ascended the stairs, which they did on tiptoe, the elder man first, the younger man second, and the unknown man in the rear—”
“My dear Holmes!” I ejaculated.

- The Resident Patient -

“Surely the gate was open!” ejaculated Phelps.
“Yes, but I have a peculiar taste in these matters. I chose the place where the three fir-trees stand, and behind their screen I got over without the least chance of any one in the house being able to see me. I crouched down among the bushes on the other side, and crawled from one to the other—witness the disreputable state of my trouser knees—until I had reached the clump of rhododendrons just opposite to your bedroom window. There I squatted down and awaited developments.
“The blind was not down in your room, and I could see Miss Harrison sitting there reading by the table. It was quarter-past ten when she closed her book, fastened the shutters, and retired.
“I heard her shut the door, and felt quite sure that she had turned the key in the lock.”
“The key!” ejaculated Phelps 

--- 

(and finally)

A moment later the servant's door was opened, and Mr. Joseph Harrison stepped out into the moonlight.”
“Joseph!” ejaculated Phelps

- The Naval Treaty -

Once or twice it seemed to me that I had seen the same figure before, and I especially noticed two men who appeared to be sheltering themselves from the wind in the doorway of a house some distance up the street. I tried to draw my companion's attention to them, but he gave a little ejaculation of impatience and continued to stare into the street.

- The Adventure of the Empty House – see my earlier post featuring this short story!

As Holmes turned up the lamp the light fell upon a card on the table. He glanced at it, and then, with an ejaculation of disgust, threw it on the floor. I picked it up and read:—

CHARLES AUGUSTUS MILVERTON, 

Appledore Towers, 

Hampstead. 

Agent. 

“Who is he?” I asked.
“The worst man in London,” Holmes answered

- The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton -

Amid the droning of the wind there had come the stamping of a horse's hoofs and the long grind of a wheel as it rasped against the kerb. The cab which I had seen had pulled up at our door.
“What can he want?” I ejaculated, as a man stepped out of it.
“Want! He wants us. And we, my poor Watson, want overcoats and cravats and galoshes, and every aid that man ever invented

---

Tut-tut! Well, then, these tracks upon the grass, were they coming or going?”
“It was impossible to say. There was never any outline.”
“A large foot or a small?”
“You could not distinguish.”
Holmes gave an ejaculation of impatience.

- The Adventure of the Golden Pince-Nez -

This brought his hand within a few inches of the broken end of the rope, but it was not this so much as the bracket itself which seemed to engage his attention. Finally he sprang down with an ejaculation of satisfaction.
“It's all right, Watson,” said he.

- The Adventure of the Abbey Grange -

My visit was specially made to the good Mr. Ames, with whom I exchanged some amiabilities, which culminated in his allowing me, without reference to anyone else, to sit alone for a time in the study.”
“What! With that?” I ejaculated.
“No, no, everything is now in order. You gave permission for that, Mr. Mac, as I am informed. The room was in its normal state, and in it I passed an instructive quarter of an hour.”

- The Valley of Fear - 

In the bedroom he made a rapid cast around and ended by throwing open the window, which appeared to give him some fresh cause for excitement, for he leaned out of it with loud ejaculations of interest and delight.

- The Adventure of the Devil’s Foot - 

(Holmes misses Watson…)

And here it is that I miss my Watson. By cunning questions and ejaculations of wonder he could elevate my simple art, which is but systematized common sense, into a prodigy.

- The Blanched Soldier -

"

What do you think?

Once more with the etymology! Is the fact that the predominant meaning of words change, sometimes with comic results, the most appealing part of language, or is it something else? According to Queer  and Feminist Theory, a lot of literature can be read from a new angle, as with Lord of the Rings and now clearly the Holmes canon. Have you read anything lately where a different understanding of the genders and gender roles alters your understanding of the text?

Comments on The Tale of Sir Bob are always welcome! 

Sources: As given

Bad Sex in Literature

In 1993, the British magazine Literary Review started handing out an award out of the ordinary. Nowadays, with the horrors of Fifty Shades of Grey stalking the literary landscape, it seems particularly relevant. Yes, it is the

Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Awarded to the author who produces the worst description of a sex scene in a novel, the award aims to to "draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it". Here is a short film showing the nomination process:

Seems tailor made for Fifty Shades of Grey, does it not? The only problem is that pornographic or erotic fiction is excluded, and rightly so, since part of the impact of the sex scenes are their situation in mainstream literature. The internet has reeled at the exclusion of J.K. Rowling's The Casual Vacancy from the shortlist, but Jonathan Beckman, literary editor of the Literary Review explains in an interview with The Guardian that it simply was not bad enough, despite being filled with rape, casual sex and pedophilia. That says something of previous awardees. 

Previous winners have bestowed phrases like "Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her" (Rowan Somerwille: The Shape of Her) and "Moan moan moan moan moan went Hoyt as he slithered slithered slithered slithered and caress caress caress caress went the fingers" (Tom Wolfe: I am Charlotte Simmons) upon the world. More bad sex in fiction can be found here.

This year's award ceremony is on Tuesday 4th of December, and so it is up to you, dear reader, to decide whether any of the nominees are worthy heirs to these devastatingly squalid contribution to the canon:

Rare Earth by Paul Mason: “She breathed hot into his neck and he plunged three rough fingers down the front of her jeans, making her squeak. She had never tried wu-wei in this situation before and Khünbish, hairy and slightly paunchy, she noticed now that he had his shirt off, was generating slightly more karmic energy than she had anticipated.”

Noughties by Ben Masters: “We got up from the chair and she led me to her elfin grot, getting amongst the pillows and cool sheets. We trawled each other’s bodies for every inch of history. I dug after what I had always imagined and came up with even more. She stroked my outlines in perfect synchrony until I was febrile in her hands, willingly guided elsewhere.”

Infrared by Nancy Huston: “He runs his tongue and lips over my breasts, the back of my neck, my toes, my stomach, the countless treasures between my legs, oh the sheer ecstasy of lips and tongues on genitals, either simultaneously or in alternation, never will I tire of that silvery fluidity, my sex swimming in joy like a fish in water…”

The Adventuress: The Irresistible Rise of Miss Cath Fox by Nicholas Coleridge: “In seconds the duke had lowered his trousers and boxers and positioned himself across a leather steamer trunk, emblazoned with the royal arms of Hohenzollern Castle. ‘Give me no quarter,’ he commanded. ‘Lay it on with all your might.’”

Back to Blood by Tom Wolfe: “Now his big generative jockey was inside her pelvic saddle, riding, riding, riding, and she was eagerly swallowing it swallowing it swallowing it with the saddle’s own lips and maw — all this without a word.”

The Yips by Nicola Barker: “She smells of almonds, like a plump Bakewell pudding; and he is the spoon, the whipped cream, the helpless dollop of warm custard. She steams. He applauds, his tongue hanging out (like a bloodhound espying a raw chop in a cartoon).”

The Divine Comedy by Craig Raine: “And he came. Like a wubbering springboard. His ejaculate jumped the length of her arm. Eight diminishing gouts. The first too high for her to lick. Right on the shoulder.”

The Quiddity of Wilf Self by Sam Mills: “Down, down, on to the eschatological bed. Pages chafed me; my blood wept onto them. My cheek nestled against the scratch of paper. My cock was barely a ghost, but I did not suffer panic.”

What do you think? 

Which contribution do you think will receive this year's Bad Sex in Literature Award? Are there other candidates whom you think should have been included? If so, why? Feel free to include representative excerpts and do not forget to keep an attentive eye at the Literary Review webpage next Tuesday!

Comments on The Tale of Sir Bob are always welcome!

Source: Text

The Importance of Soaking in Politics

Having previously covered singing heads of state, the time has come to have a look at the role of bathing and bath-houses in politics. At first glance, one would not expect these inconspicuous activities and rooms to be of any consequence but they might in fact be partially responsible for the end of the Cold War.

Water Wings

Nikita Khrushchev was fat and ungainly. He had had no more than four years of school education and was thought to have survived Stalin's purges mainly because no one found him a threat. Still, following Stalin's death in 1953 this inconspicuousness was what allowed him to maneuver to the top of Soviet Russia.

Before this, in 1949, the massively self-centered and -confident Chairman Mao had been slighted at Stalin's 70th birthday. He was treated as just another of the many guests, was granted very little time with the Soviet leader and later relocated to a remote villa outside Moscow for several weeks where there was nothing to do except playing table tennis at a broken table. (This was before table tennis was outlawed on the belief that it damaged players' eyesight.)

Naturally, Mao was seething with resentment and when Khrushchev came for a state visit in 1958 he was put up in a fairly worn down hotel with no air conditioning in the hot China summer. During the following talks, Mao chain-smoked in spite of Khrushchev's intense hatred for smoking and talked down to him, but suddenly he seemed to change his ways and invited him to his private residence at Zonghanhai.

Mao Swimming. He was said to have been aided in this venture by his profuse fat

When Khrushchev turned up the following day, he suspected trouble. Mao greeted him wearing slippers and a bathrobe and insisted he join him in the pool. Mao was an proficient swimmer, but the 200 pound Khrushchev had never learned to swim. Soon, Mao was doing laps and talking incessantly, interpreters running up and down along the pool while Khrushchev was standing awkwardly at the children's end of the pool. The humiliation was not complete yet, however. A pair of water wings were produced and with Khrushchev paddling like a dog or simply bobbing up and down, Mao ducking and diving the talks progressed amidst splutters and discomfort.

Khrushchev in happier times

Needless to say, the stunt did nothing to improve Sino-Soviet relations. By 1966, their border conflict almost escalated into open war and this allowed Kissinger to reestablish American-Chinese relations. This further pressured Soviet to withdraw their aid to the North-Vietnamese which led to disengagement, SALT and 1989. Therefore, interestingly, the Cold War was ended, at least in part, by water wings.

The Ugandian Swimming Champion

Uganda's dictator Idi Amin also considered himself quite the swimmer. He used to boast that he was the Ugandian swimming champion. However, as this video shows, there was not much competition as competitors swimming past him were bound never to swim again.

Finnish Sauna Diplomacy

After the war, Finnish President Jushi Kusti Paasikivi and his successor Uhro Kekkonen navigated the Cold War skillfully through the policy of "active neutrality". By doing this, they could have dealings with both the Soviet and the West and especially Kekkonen had a secret tool for this purpose; cultural diplomacy.

Kekkonen would invite foreign digitaries to join him in his sauna and there, he would start negotiating, hammering out a deal. The sauna would take its toll, softening the visitors up for compromise. Often, Kekkonen would not let them leave until an agreement had been reached and dignitaries who have met with this treatment include Soviet Premier Khrushchev and former UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon. On one occasion, in 1960, after sweating in the sauna until five in the morning Khrushchev issued a statement supporting Finland's desire to integrate with the West.

Khrushchev never noticed the wicked gleam in Kekkonen's eye

Finnish sauna diplomacy is still being used. All Finnish diplomatic and consular missions have their own sauna for the purpose, and Finnish soldiers are known to build saunas wherever they go. There is, however, a danger to sauna diplomacy. Olli Rehn of the European Commission economic and monetary affairs was recently accused of sexism after an attempt at sauna diplomacy.

What do you think?

Do these tactics rock your belief in the solidity of your political system? Are they morally sound or do, perhaps, the ends justify the means? A well known business tactic is to give visiting businessmen awkward flights and have a liason professional keep them busy until his meeting. This makes them tired, unable to make good decisions and more likely to aggree to the business' demands. Is this justifiable, in your opinion?

Comments on the Tale of Sir Bob are welcome, as ever!



Sources: "Water Wings", "The Ugandian Swimming Champion" as shown, "Finnish Sauna Diplomacy", Pic1, Pic2, Pic3

Evil Overlord List

I have always been fond of lists and equally fascinated by the whole secret agent universe. I've seen the James Bond films (and played the games), any parody, like Austin Powers, read books and played games like "No one lives forever" and "Evil Genius".

I have even found my favourite henchman look. No, not the jumpsuit. The Mustafa look from the second Austin Powers film, though preferably with a white suit:

A bit like the guy on the right


While on the subject of henchmen, here is one my favourite henchman related clip (together with this one, and that one):

However, these films require massive suspension of disbelief, hence their suitablility for parody. This has led to a number of lists, amongst them a set of poignant "Things to do if I ever become an evil overlord" lists. Although they may concern any evil overlord, I like to think of them as especially fitting for heads of worldwide criminal organisations. This one is the best, picked from this site, which interestingly features a history of these kinds of lists.

Should be something for any secret agent aficionado.

Evil Overlord List

"

1.My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2.My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3.My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4.Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5.The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6.I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7.When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8.After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9.I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10.I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11.I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12.One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13.All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14.The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15.I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16.I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17.When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice. 18.I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19.I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20.Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21.I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22.No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23.I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way — even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless — my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24.I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, This Cannot Be!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25.No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26.No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27.I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28.My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29.I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30.All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31.All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32.I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33.I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34.I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35.I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36.I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37.If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38.If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39.If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40.invokedI will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41.Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42.When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43.I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44.I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45.I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46.If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This," and kill the advisor.

47.If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48.I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49.If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50.My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51.If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52.I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53.If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54.I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55.The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56.My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57.Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58.If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59.I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60.My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61.If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed unless I have a response that satisfies them.

62.I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63.Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64.I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65.If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66.My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67.No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68.I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69.All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70.When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71.If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72.If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them. 73.I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74.When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75.I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76.If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77.If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78.I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79.If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80.If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81.If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82.I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83.If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84.I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85.I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86.I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87.My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88.If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89.After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90.I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91.I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92.If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93.If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94.When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95.My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96.My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97.My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98.If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99.Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45MB in size.

100.Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
© This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

"

Sources: List, Pic1, Pic2, Pic3, Video

Pigs Galore!

Found this lovely exchange on The Pig Site Discussion Forum. Enjoy!

"

#1 January 10th, 2011, 13:54
little-pig-farm
Member Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: cambridgeshire
Posts: 83


Free Pigs To Good Homes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We have many pigs - rescued or unwanted looking for new homes - boars, gilts, sows, all mixed breeds - some big some small. Too many to list so please dont ask. Looking for homes ASAP. We are in Cambridgeshire and if you have land, a trailer and a CPH number you can arrange to visit and rehome some. Your help is greatly appreciated. please ring 07577598073


#2 January 12th, 2011, 13:17
Stevie G
Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Eastern Australia
Posts: 2,070


Free pigs. Lets hope this is genuine!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by little-pig-farm
We have many pigs - rescued or unwanted looking for new homes - boars, gilts, sows, all mixed breeds - some big some small. Too many to list so please dont ask. Looking for homes ASAP. We are in Cambridgeshire and if you have land, a trailer and a CPH number you can arrange to visit and rehome some. Your help is greatly appreciated. please ring 07577598073


This to me is a puzzling one and do not understand it as Jane Croft owns Little-Pig-farm and normally sells Micro pigs????? So can you please explain to me Jane why you have many a free pig. Is this to do with The British Pet Pig Society and that these pigs do not belong to you???
Guys you can obtain pigs for nothing in the Uk, so if this is a worthy cause check this out as originally the British Pet Pig Society where at the centre of rescuing neglected pet pigs, but I do not understand why Jane Croft from Little-Pig-Farm is involved???
Can you please explain to us Jane what is going on here???
If this is a worthy case then I am happy to back it, but can someone explain exactly as to what is going on as Janes past has not always been that perfect??????


#3 January 19th, 2011, 22:51
Annac
Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Surely this does not have anything to do with BPPS - Matthew Firth strongly denied this on a thread in June 2010

Oh what did happen to the BPPS site - its no longer up and running???

Jane did you rescue all those pigs associated to the BPPS??


#4 February 22nd, 2011, 22:56
little-pig-farm
Member Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: cambridgeshire
Posts: 83


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In answer to your question, I have had many pigs returned that came from a certain breeder up north - not only ones that I sold but ones I took in as people couldnt cope with their size. Its my own fault - i took too many in and my weekly food bill became astronomical. I have been very sucessful in finding them homes - they have gone all over th ecoutry - I only have a few rescues left. Yes i sell Micro Pigs but these are ones that have grown bigger than anticipated - just for clarification - NOT all sold by me but from the same stock! Many thanks


#5 March 2nd, 2011, 03:36
Trotters Away
Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Horsham, West Sussex
Posts: 4


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guess it's a case of reaping what you sow with the pigs being the real loosers


#6 March 2nd, 2011, 14:25
blonde
Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 2,715


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by little-pig-farm
We have many pigs - rescued or unwanted looking for new homes - boars, gilts, sows, all mixed breeds - some big some small. Too many to list so please dont ask. Looking for homes ASAP. We are in Cambridgeshire and if you have land, a trailer and a CPH number you can arrange to visit and rehome some. Your help is greatly appreciated. please ring 07577598073

You cant justify giving pigs away, the feed bill is astronomical. If you could not look after them then may be you should not ahve taken them on, but to give them away to any body that walks in the door is also not a good option. You need to have people that care and are prepared to pay for them then they will look after them.


#7 March 10th, 2011, 23:34
lyn-agroservices.co.uk
Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4


More details pls

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, I would not argue the question if to take/not take on pigs, as i know how awful amounts represent the feed bills. more i am interested about is individuals- looking for saddleback boar, rather large/long, with some experience. His job would be 2 rather macro saddleback sows. Photos welcome. Should you wish to discuss, 07708186461 or lyn-agroservices@hotmail.co.uk. Boar would have a cushy life with us, but need to be man enough to do a job, as both girls are rather dominant. Thank you
thank you Diana


#8 April 2nd, 2011, 10:01
kirsty89
Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2


re: pigs

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i am very interested in getting 1 or 2 pigs for my mum, she has always wanted a pig. im not sure where to start but was reading above an sounds like u done a wonderful job. could u give me some info about them, an prices please, an your location
thank you

kirsty


#9 April 24th, 2011, 19:15
indierocker101
Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello there,

My family and I are looking for a micro pig to join our family, we have been wanting a small pig that wont grow to big and will be a perfect pet.
Thank you


#10 April 25th, 2011, 13:12
Stevie G
Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Eastern Australia
Posts: 2,070


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by indierocker101
Hello there,

My family and I are looking for a micro pig to join our family, we have been wanting a small pig that wont grow to big and will be a perfect pet.
Thank you


The best place to get Kunes or Mini pigs(pretty sure she sells them as well) is from Wendy Scudamore at Barton Hill farm and her no. is 01981240749. If you go any where else you will be wasting your money!

#11 May 17th, 2011, 11:49
martyall
Junior Member Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by little-pig-farm
We have many pigs - rescued or unwanted looking for new homes - boars, gilts, sows, all mixed breeds - some big some small. Too many to list so please dont ask. Looking for homes ASAP. We are in Cambridgeshire and if you have land, a trailer and a CPH number you can arrange to visit and rehome some. Your help is greatly appreciated. please ring 07577598073

Homes For Sale In North Carolina Mountains

Nice one. I think that it is interesting to get some pigs. But, We are too far away in your area? What should I do?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by martyall : July 7th, 2011 at 23:40.


#12 May 31st, 2011, 19:13
animal arks
Junior Member Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1


kune kune pigs

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We obviously resent the comment made that the only place to buy kune kune pigs is from Wendy.
We bought an excellant breeding trio from Wendy are you saying we shouldnt breed and sell the offspring.
It gets even more potty when Wendy is getting first pick of one of our gilts when they farrow next.
So perhaps Wendy isnt the only place to buy good Kune kunes


#13 October 10th, 2011, 12:41
paula659
Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A friend of mine have a 4yo a male desexed Mini Pig availalbe
Free to good generic cialis Home - children have lost interest.
very freindly Pig loves scratches and treats

Definatley not for eating - I have volunteered to do that already

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by paula659 : December 26th, 2011 at 06:18.

#14 October 10th, 2011, 13:45
Stevie G
Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Eastern Australia
Posts: 2,070

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by paula659
A friend of mine have a 4yo a male desexed Mini Pig availalbe
Free to good Home - children have lost interest.
very freindly Pig loves scratches and treats

Definatley not for eating - I have volunteered to do that already


People need to know where you are????

#15 November 25th, 2011, 07:02
Katrin
Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by paula659
A friend of mine have a 4yo a male desexed Mini Pig availalbe
Free to good Home - children have lost interest.
very freindly Pig loves scratches and treats

Definatley not for eating - I have volunteered to do that already

I'm looking for a mini pig, but I live in Ukraine Is there any chance to get one??

"

Source, Pic

MOD Ebay

Ever wanted your very own fighter jet? Or a skin weaver? It turns out the British Ministry of Defence has their own little ebay-like outlet here. Here are some of the interesting items which can be found for sale there:

For those with 400 rampant animals



For those emergency dentist situations

This is how it is done

No, it is not a metaphor

And finally, for the paranoid driver or the one eager to alleviate his road rage:

The Shropshire Pumpkin Scandal

Please enjoy this shocking piece of news from last summer. The plot thickens, though, as related in this Have I Got News for You episode. Something's rotten in the county Shropshire...

 "

Champion Shropshire pumpkin grower confesses to cheating

Monday 20th June 2011, 11:05AM BST. 

Scandal has hit a Shropshire village after the champion grower of its annual allotment association pumpkin competition claimed he filled his 186-pound prize-winning squash with water to win.

Barry Truss, 57, of Ryton Road, Beckbury, near Shifnal, has won the competition, which is held at the village’s Severn Stars pub in October, for four years in a row and walked away with a trophy and a £50 prize.

At last year’s contest, which is run by Beckbury Allotment Association, judges could scarcely believe the size of the 13-stone pumpkin, and following Mr Truss’s revelation on Saturday they were right to.

Other allotment holders have lost the plot at his cheating, and even accused Mr Truss of sabotaging rival pumpkins.

The culprit, his wife and his dog caught scheming

Mr Truss, a lorry driver, said his deception was uncovered after he was overheard telling a friend in a bar.

He said: “This kind of skulduggery goes on with everybody. I only did it for a bit of fun. I’ve been doing it for about 10 years and won it four years in a row.

“I haven’t cheated any other of the years, I haven’t had to. We’ve all had a bit of a laugh. I’m scuppered now, no-one will believe I haven’t cheated. There’s one thing for sure, I won’t get away with it again.”

Mr Truss’s wife Carol, 56, was an accessory to the swindle after she spent hours rolling the pumpkin around the garden at last October’s contest to empty it of water to stop organisers discovering his attempt to cheat.

“I was on a night out at the time when I heard that the sponsors wanted to pick it up so I phoned Carol and told her to let the water out,” added Mr Truss, who has had his allotment for 30 years. I was scared there would be a tsunami in their kitchen when they cut it open.

“I asked Carol to take the bung out of the bottom then role it around the garden until it was empty.”

Mrs Truss said: “I was rolling a giant pumpkin around the garden for hours, it was making gurgling noises.”

Mick Scriven, allotment association chairman, said today: “He’s an absolute rogue."

“As things stand he is able to take part in future competitions however there will be heightened security, and we might have to invest in some specialised equipment."

“It’s all very tongue in cheek.”

By Paul Mannion

Comments 

andrew finch
June 20, 2011 at 11:10

Every one who likes to grow big pumpkins for show cheats , they do not grow to a massive size naturally 

alex
June 20, 2011 at 12:06

Except for Jim’s on the vicar of Dibley !!!! 

Joanne Garner
June 20, 2011 at 11:53

To read our stories in full, log in to the premium 24 website….

*sigh* 

Chris
June 20, 2011 at 17:32

What’s the problem, Joanne? Do you feel you should be able to see the whole story online for free when readers of the paper have to pay 42p? The Shropshire Star is a business and can’t just give its product for free. 

Rob, Telford
June 20, 2011 at 12:49

I blame the judges – surely they could tell that it was actually a dog and not a pumpkin…. 

lisa
June 20, 2011 at 13:37

that really made me laugh rob, how funny. x

"

Source: Link

Samuel Jackson Reads a Bedtime Book

In March I published a post on James Earl Jones reading out the numbers and the alphabet. This one is quite similar. The earnest children's book for adults, Go the f#ck to sleep by Adam Mansbach, is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. Enjoy!

James Earl Jones Counting to Ten and Then Some

This is James Earl Jones, the voice of Darth Vader, counting to ten on Sesame Street. I personally love the 4 and the 8.

Now, watch this in fullscreen mode and see if you do not feel a tad uneasy.

The Cockney Bible, Innit?

In April 2001 Mike Coles, a teacher in a secondary school in Stepney, London published his Cockney Bible (or bits of it anyway). Coles had found that translating texts into Cockney rhyming slang made them more appealing and accessible for students. He translated nine stories from the Bible and had them published as the Cockney Bible, which was later endorsed by the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Originally intended as a code language to keep information from the authorities, Cockney substitutes words for rhyming alternatives or pairs. Bear this in mind while reading and enjoying the following excerpts.

"

The Lord's Prayer

Hello, Dad, up there in good ol’ Heaven,

Your name is well great and holy, and we respect you, Guv.

We hope we can all ‘ave a butcher’s at Heaven and be there as soon as possible: and we want to make you happy, Guv, and do what you want ‘ere on earth, just like what you do in Heaven.

Guv, please give us some Uncle Fred, and enough grub and stuff to keep us going today, and we hope you’ll forgive us when we cock things up, just like we’re supposed to forgive them who annoy us and do dodgy stuff to us.

There’s a lot of dodgy people around, Guv; please don’t let us get tempted to do bad things.

Help keep us away from all the nasty, evil stuff, and keep that dodgy Satan away from us, ‘cos you’re much stronger than ‘im.

Your the Boss, God, and will be for ever, innit?

Cheers, Amen.

"

Jesus Calms the Storm

One evening, Jesus said to his chinas, “Let’s go to the other side of this ‘ere lake.”

So they left all the people, and the disciples got into the nanny and set orf. There were quite a few other nannies there too.

And then, would you Adam and Eve it, a huge wind started to blow up, and the waves got so bloomin’ big that they began to spill into the nanny. It got to the stage where the nanny was almost gonna fill up with fisherman’s.

Despite all this, Jesus was at the back of the nanny ‘aving a feather, lying there with his loaf on a pillow. The disciples woke him up and said, “Teacher, we’re about to die. Don’t you care?”

Jesus got up from his little feather and shouted at the wind, “Oi, be quiet!” and he said to the waves, “Oi, be still!” The wind suddenly died dahn, and it became really calm. Jesus then said to his chinas, “What is it with you lot? Why were you all so frightened? Do you still not have faith?”

But the disciples were in a right ol’ two and eight.

Source

German Sing-along - Die Partei hat immer Recht

The German hits just keep coming, do they not? After Papa Trinkt Bier and Staplerfahrer Klaus and the German Indian Winnetou, it is time for something a bit more pompous. This is the state sponsored Die Partei hat immer Recht - the party is always right - with the full text and my translation underneath so we can all join the chorus.

Ready? Eins, zwei, drei ...

Thanks to IA!

A German Indian from France?

In his lecture on the portrayal of Native Americans, which I wrote a post about a week ago, Kevin Gover of the Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian mentioned Winnetou. Winnetou is a character from a series of western novels by the German Karl May. The novels sold millions of copies, making May, who never actually went to America, one of the best selling German authors of all time. Seeing as there already is a post on German weirdness on this blog Winnetou could serve as an update.

Films were made from the 60s onwards (thus preceeding the spaghetti westerns) featuring German actors dressed up as some sort of idealised indian and of course speaking German. The films were shot in Yugoslavia with the protagonist being played by a Frenchman. Granting "the wish of millions", this misguided attempt at multiculturalism with its German speaking French stereotyped Apache is a "monumental film" of cultural awkwardness and German weirdness.

Enjoy!

 

Source: 1, 2

To Rise above the Beasts - Shaun Ellis

The first post in this series introduced Laura, a musically agile soprano performing the impossible. Now, I am proud to present a rather differently talented gentleman;

Shaun Ellis

 aka "Wolfman"

Shaun Ellis is an Norfolk ex-marine who has taken a rather unusual approach to behavioural biology. Living with different packs of wolves and adopting their ways of communication and beaviour he has gathered fascinating information on these animals. He has explored the human-like social hierarchy in packs, most notably when he lost his position as alpha male during his 2005 stay with a pack in Combe Martin Wildlife Park. Through this unorthodox way of studying wild animals, he has shown how scent, sound and posture are central to their communication and that this can be used by humans to understand and control the behaviour of the wolf population.

Although it can be argued that Ellis' strength does not stem from any talent but rather from perseverance, his ability to communicate with animals which, as so many talents, has been cultivated over several years sets him apart. Through his talent for communication and understanding of the wild, Shaun Ellis, by stooping to the beasts rise above beasts and man alike.

The next four parts of this documentary as well as the one above can be found here.

Source